I’m tired...

Tired of being single. Being with someone and loving for only a moment. With feelings I know are still there well after the loving is done. Feelings that are strong and are potent; enough to make me feel so inadequate. That I may not be as appealing or satisfying as a next chick. I want to be able to give my love, my feelings, my desires to someone who will care for me as deeply as I would care for them. Wanting this to happen so badly I feel as if I won’t be happy without it. This vision of couples, happy couples, haunts me. Visions of everyone being paired off and me being left behind. Of having that someone to hold you, without saying anything, the comfort of them being there; the warmth; their distinct smell that is so irresistible that having sex would seem like the obvious turnout. Having that mentality, but still knowing that you respect each other too much, and would rather wait because you both will know the safest thing to have on when having sex, is your wedding rings. That assuring knowledge that you can go the whole day without them, but when you’re about to sleep, not talking to them will not make the day complete. Assurance makes you feel stable. Makes you know that you have someone to trust your heart with and someone who knows that your mind is just as attractive as the body you have, the clothes you wear, and the things you say. You want that feeling just as much as I do: only difference is, you may have it already. Wanting that feeling, though sounding so perfect, may be the death of me. That I strive for it so much, I can’t live without it. I feel it is the only thing that will make me genially happy. I’m tired. Tired of being single.